I like to call myself a microwave woman. I like things to move and to happen fast and I’m extremely impatient. Not one of my best qualities, I’ll admit. Chalk it up to being from the city, I guess. But I hate to wait for anything. If something doesn’t happen at the exact time that I want it to or for planned for it to, I become very frustrated.

I had my whole life planned before I graduated from high school. I was going to apply to one school, Clark Atlanta University as a political science major. Once graduated at 22, I would attend Columbia Law School with a concentration on entertainment law, graduate and at 25, work for law firm in Manhattan while living on the upper west side. Just like the apartments I saw in Will & Grace. (I became obsessed with that show because of my college roommate)

Well I did get accepted to Clark Atlanta University as a poli-sci. I soon realized that I wanted to be a journalist, so I transferred to Mississippi State University after my freshman year at Clark. That was when I created a new plan. I would graduate, move to Norfolk, Virginia, get a job with Vibe or Essence Magazine as one of the music editors and that would be my life. Well now, I’m living in Irving, Texas working for a bank and have been freelancing my writing skills since college. So needless to say, neither one of my plans ever came to be, or at least not yet.

There are certain times when I would find myself very down and discouraged because I’m not working in my chosen field. I haven’t accomplished the goals I said that I would by the time I turned 28. My life has always been on a clock and everything that I’ve wanted in my life was strategically placed inside of a time frame. I used to base my success on my age. I’ve learned, sometimes still have to remind myself, to stop watching the clock. Stop allowing myself to become discouraged because the dates that I’ve set on certain events in my life have long since passed. There is nothing that says you can’t or won’t be successful later on life.

There are so many distractions that can attribute to the idea that I’m this age, so I should’ve accomplished this or that by now. One of the main contributors to this damaging train of thought is the media. There are so many articles that I’ve read and seen that have created a checklist of “things you should have accomplished by 25” or “things every person should have by the time they’re 30.” Stay away from stories and websites that have lists like these. These are all opinions of people, not facts. Everything happens for a reason and it happens on its own time, when it’s supposed to. The second thing is social media sites such as Facebook and/or Instagram. Every day, I scroll down my newsfeed and I see my family, friends and associates who appear to have so many great things going on; businesses, marriages, kids and vacations. I will admit, in my weakest moments, which we all have, it’s easy to say to yourself well they’re the same age as me, why hasn’t this happened for me, I’m working as hard as they are, when will I get my big break.

The truth is half of time, what people post on these sites is not true. I don’t know what is about our generation, but people love to show off or give the impression that they’re living a perfect life. For the people whose posts are true, you don’t know they’re story or they’re struggle to get where they are now. Everyone’s journey is different, some harder or longer than others. But remember, your journey is yours, what life has for someone else, is theirs. What life has for you, is yours. You have to adapt the mindset that I’m happy for my friend and what he or she has going on her life. My time may not be right now, but I know it will come.

I’m not a therapist or a life coach by any means. But you have to stop watching the clock. All that time you are wasting on being angry or discouraged thinking that your dreams, your goals, your ambitions are running out of time, could be better put to use in continuing to work hard for what you want, enjoying your life with even the smallest things; hanging out with friends and family or children. Don’t let your inspiration die because you’re too concerned about ticking of the clock. Watching the clock isn’t going to change your life. You are!